Addiction Is Damaging My Relationship, How Might Treatment Help?

So, you've made the decision to seek treatment for your addiction. As such, you're ready to commit to doing whatever it takes to reach and maintain recovery. After a thoughtful process, you feel a long-term treatment center would be best. However, you can't help but wonder how thirty to forty-five days away might impact your relationship. Likewise, you have reservations about being away from home and work for that long. Could it be worth it?

Your relationship may be a big motivating factor behind your decision to seek help. For example, if a partner gives an ultimatum between the addiction and the relationship, many will choose the relationship.

Let's talk about the impact addiction can have on relationships. We'll also discuss why a long-term treatment program may be the key to healing, recovery, and repairing your relationship.

My Addiction and My Relationship

Porn and sex addiction can negatively impact your relationship in a variety of ways. Like any addiction, when intense urges hit, your need to respond takes priority over everything, even if you don't intend for it to do so. As such, your spouse, family, and work-life have likely suffered as a direct result of your addiction.

Porn or sex addiction is likely to negatively impact intimacy within your relationship. For example, you may need to view porn in order to enjoy sexual intimacy with your spouse. Likewise, your sex addiction may have led to infidelity or legal issues. Both can lead you into a fantasy world that leaves you with unattainable desires. As such, your addiction may be to blame for the dissatisfaction you feel within your relationship.

Often, addiction leads to lies and secrets, which damage trust within relationships. As a result, your relationship may be suffering due to broken trust. Your partner could be living with betrayal trauma.

The good news is there is treatment available to help end the painful and destructive cycle of addiction. With professional help, you may be able to heal and reach and maintain recovery.

Can Residential Treatment Help Save My Relationship?

Residential treatment may help you in a variety of ways. First, you will be in a safe environment where you can learn how to overcome addictive behaviors. Next, many facilities offer individual, group, and couples or family therapy. Instead of your addiction, you can shift your focus to healing within and repairing relationships. Through the process, you may find peace and hope as you begin to break free from the vicious cycle of addiction.

There are no guarantees that treatment can save your relationship. However, it may be the key to regaining control of your life. Many facilities teach 12-step programs and help to instill recovery principles along the way. As a result, when you're ready to return home, you'll have tools in place to help you maintain sobriety. After leaving a residential program, many benefit from seeking outpatient support. This step can help you continue to work toward healing and restoring trust within your relationship.

At Paradise Creek Recovery Center, we specialize in treating porn and sex addiction. We offer both thirty-one and forty-five day treatment plans to help set you up for a successful recovery. Likewise, we understand the importance of healing trust within the relationship. As such, our program includes couples therapy. We also set aside a specific weekend for your partner to join you if they desire to do so. Hope and healing can be yours through addiction recovery. Visit our website today to learn more.

5 Great Ways To Strengthen A Relationship After Discovering Porn Addiction

The devastation that comes with discovering a porn addiction is often unexplainable. Likewise, learning your spouse has a porn addiction can lead to so many questions. Why? When? Where? How? Like many other things, the status of your relationship may no longer be clear. Is it possible to move forward together after such a major violation of trust? Can the relationship be strengthened after such a life-changing bombshell?

The decision to remain in your relationship and move forward together is one that some couples make. Likewise, there's no right or wrong choice; it's ultimately up to the two of you. Although the journey is difficult, it is possible to heal and regain trust within the relationship.

In this article, we'll provide 5 great ideas that may help you strengthen your relationship after discovering a porn addiction.

How Does Porn Addiction Affect the Relationship?

There are many ways a porn addiction can affect a relationship. Like any addiction, there are often many lies and secrets intertwined in the behaviors of addiction. That alone can lead to broken trust and heartache. Likewise, porn addiction can cause rewiring in the brain. As such, that can affect the relationship in a variety of ways. For example, there are likely damaging effects on intimacy within the relationship. Usually, there's a distortion between sexual fantasy and reality, which affects the relationship.

Then, there's the discovery of an addiction that can create another set of issues. Finding out about an addiction can feel like a bombshell. As a result, it can shatter trust in an instant. The feeling of betrayal can leave you with symptoms similar to those of PTSD. Likewise, it can lead to frustration, accusations, and an abundance of distress within the relationship.

However, the good news in all of this is through dedication and hard work, couples can heal. Porn addiction recovery is achievable. Furthermore, strength and trust within the relationship are attainable.

5 ways to strengthen a relationship after discovering an addiction

  1. Set boundaries. Setting boundaries can be a great way to begin to restore trust. Likewise, boundaries can create a safety net, especially when clear consequences accompany them. Examples could include:

    • Require apps and website access to be deleted. This could include allowing you to change passwords to the app store and specific accounts on all electronic devices.
    • Identify places where electronics are not allowed. (bathrooms, behind locked doors, etc.)
    • Access to phone, texts, or other electronics upon request
    • Specific physical or emotional space
    • Attend and participate in treatment or 12-step program
  2. Seek support and treatment. Porn addiction comes with a complex set of issues. However, with treatment and support, you can increase the likelihood of both healing and recovery.
  3. Be transparent. Answers to questions will require transparency for effective healing to take place. Likewise, healing can be more authentic through complete transparency.
  4. Self-care. When you're spinning in anger and grief, it can be difficult to eat, sleep, and interact with others. Through self-care, you can focus on getting enough sleep, eating nutritiously, and getting yourself ready for the day. Furthermore, self-care can help you to acknowledge the emotions you're feeling. In other words, self-care may contribute to your mental health and your relationship.
  5. Plan together. Healing and rebuilding trust is going to take time, effort, and commitment. Furthermore, a plan of action is likely to be more effective if both of you are involved in the process.

Discovering a spouse's porn addiction is likely to be life-changing. Like isn't likely to return to normal. However, if both of you want your relationship to remain intact, we may be able to help. At Paradise Creek Recovery Center, we help those with porn addictions through the recovery process. Call us today to learn more.

3 Ideas to Help Ring in the New Year Without Your Porn Addiction

For many of us, seeing 2020 come to an end is going to be a joyous occasion. With 2021 on the horizon, you may be thinking about goals you want to set and achieve over the next year. For example, you are ready to say goodbye to your porn addiction. Yet, you wonder, with all the stress that continues to surround you, if recovery is possible.

Like any addiction, porn addiction is a difficult one to beat. However, you feel ready to take on the challenge and have high hopes for recovery. After all, you're eager to experience life without your porn addiction in 2021. So, what can you do to begin this journey? Where do you start?

Let's discuss porn addiction. We'll provide 3 ideas that may help you move toward porn addiction recovery as you ring in the new year.

What is porn addiction?

Technically speaking, you won't find porn addiction in the official diagnosis book known as the DSM. However, many clinicians will tell you, porn addiction is as real as any other addiction. The damaging effects and changes to the brain it can cause are also just as real.

Porn addiction is the uncontrollable compulsive urge to view pornography. While the intent may be to stop, when thoughts come to turn to porn, they are often so intense that opting out is no longer a simple task. Instead, life, or areas of life, become unmanageable without it. Over time, many begin to choose porn over family, work, vacation time, and anything else. It can change the way your brain intakes, processes, and stores information. Likewise, it can damage relationships, sometimes beyond repair.

However, there is hope. Millions of people are living life in recovery and enjoying the freedoms that come with it. With the right tools, porn addiction recovery is attainable.

3 Ideas to Help you Begin Your Journey Toward Porn Addiction Recovery

  1. Commit to recovery. If your goal is to overcome your addiction, the first thing you can do is tell someone. Like many addictions, secrets, lies, and hidden agendas often accompany porn addiction. So, the first thing you can do is tell your partner, friend, or loved one you're ready to get help. Then, commit to recovery every morning of every day from here on out. While the journey won't be easy, knowing your commitment starts over every day can be a great first step.
  2. Set Filters and Delete Apps. The next idea to help you on your path toward recovery is to limit access. After you tell your loved one about your desire for help and commitment to recovery, then it's time to delete everything you can. For example, delete saved websites, accounts, and apps. Then, you can ask someone to install an anti-porn filter on every device in your home, but they'll need to keep the password to themselves. Remember to include any children's devices too.
  3. Come up with a plan to fill your time. It would be wonderful if a solid commitment and deleting access to porn is all it takes to achieve recovery. However, that's just helping you set up your line of defense. The intense work begins with that first trigger. For example, the initial thought, urge, and desire to turn to your porn addiction will likely come with great intensity. So, what can you do? You can come up with ways to distract. Examples include having a support person to talk to, exercise, journaling, and avoiding isolation. Any healthy, reliable idea is worth writing down. Over time, you'll have a list of options to turn to to help keep you safe from relapse.

I'm Committed to Porn Addiction Recovery, but I Need More Help

Another similarity between porn addiction and other addictions is the need for help. Many addictions are extremely difficult to overcome without support. So, you could reach out to a support group. Likewise, you could seek a professional therapist who specializes in porn addiction treatment.

There are many ways to overcome your addiction and achieve your goal of recovery. An essential part of your success will be to have tools in place that work for you.

At Paradise Creek Recovery Center, we understand how complex porn addiction recovery can be. We help clients acquire the tools they'll need for success. We may be able to help you ring in the new year with a relapse prevention plan in place. Likewise, we would love to see if we can help you find success on your journey toward recovery. Call us today.

Music Therapy At Paradise Creek Recovery Center

Music Therapy at Paradise Creek Recovery Center with Heather Overly, SCMT, CBMT

Over the past two decades, the exponential growth in research on substance use disorders (e.g. alcoholism, drug addiction) and process addictions (e.g. sex addiction, porn addiction, eating disorders, offending behaviors, etc.), as well as trauma, has encouraged clinicians to consider additional therapeutic interventions supportive of tapping into the brain’s neuroplasticity, for changing behaviors.  Professionals are eager to find evidence based and research driven therapies, which invite and anchor healthy change. Paradise Creek Recovery Center (PCRC), a residential program for men with sex or porn addiction, offending behaviors or individuals on spectrum with problem sexual behaviors, has found a useful tool toward this goal by utilizing Music Therapy as one of the many helpful interventions.

Why music therapy?

There is growing body of research showing the benefits of the therapeutic integration of music.  There are numerous TEDx talks sharing this research such as: Your Brain is Better on Music | Alex Doman | TEDx Ogden. He discusses his 25 years of research on music and its therapeutic benefits.  Mr. Doman helps viewers to explore how as human’s we are “wired” for music’s positive effects of enhancing learning, emotion regulation, stress reduction, reducing depression and suicide, improving sleep, and many more…all by “engaging the whole of our brain.” - which music uniquely does.

Music therapy engages those areas of the brain supportive of positive change.  It is invitational - individuals quickly realize participation in a rhythm, a tone or a lyric is experiential and fun, providing the participant to consider their particular experience of the session or sessions.  The American Music Therapy Association® governs the professional standards of music therapy practice as “the clinical and evidence-based use of music interventions to address physical, emotional, cognitive and social needs” of those served.  It encourages clinicians in music therapy practice to participate and present research, supporting ongoing education of the mental health and medical communities at large.  For more in depth information and useful research involving the use of music therapy as an approach on a broad range of behavioral and medical issues, please see the American Music Therapy Association® website.

Heather Overly, SCMT, CBMT

Heather-Overly Since November of 2016, Heather Overly, SCMT, CBMT, has been the therapist providing music therapy for men at Paradise Creek Recovery Center. Heather meets weekly with PCRC men for a 90-minute group. She described the following benefits she sees in applying music therapy in treatment for sex and porn addiction, offending behaviors and those clients on the autism spectrum with problem sexual behaviors.  “I see them internalizing and improving their motivation for recovery.  Treatment for sex addiction is often externally motivated - music therapy can support the client’s ownership of why they are in treatment.” Music is also a way to safely experience emotional release, “music does it without words, but allows them to process with words as well.”  Music therapy supports group cohesion and inclusivity with the emphasis of group strength - each understanding they’ve become a part of a greater whole. The client's stress and anxiety is reduced with music relaxation and movement exercises. Lyric analysis affords each participant to assign their own meaning, encouraging insight, self-awareness and self-reflection.  Music therapy becomes a portable tool and coping skill, as they learn to play, express emotion, and self-sooth anger and anxiety.  The participants also become more mindful of music they listen to.  “We encourage them to develop a resiliency playlist.  They become more aware of how music affects them.  We see them discard a song and choose one more supportive of their recovery - that really makes me really happy.”

It's A New Day

The first music therapy assignment is the act of creating a positive affirmation chant, a unique way to set personal goals during their first week of treatment.  Heather provides an easy to use template to start.  The clients will then engage in writing their own chant the following week.  This process continues throughout their treatment experience - with all of their music and lyrics being saved.  During the last music therapy session, near treatment is completion, they share their first chant, followed by their most recent chant, and compare the two.  “I often hear the comment, “I was so shallow.”  Music therapy is only one of the current therapies helping each client have an overall great experience at PCRC. “I find the music therapy really brings the guys together in a shared experience as they write the lyrics - it becomes the concrete representation of their teamwork and shared trust, while acknowledging each participants contribution.” The overall experience of the process is carried together, both in and outside of therapy, as well as in individual and group sessions.

Heather Overly Playing GuitarMs. Overly found her passion while in school at Utah State University, achieving her BS in Music Therapy in 2001.  “I learned about music therapy with older adults and had the opportunity to observe and learn how music therapy engages participants.”  She has practiced utilizing drumming, music improvisation, song writing, lyric analysis, and client sharing meaningful songs with the group. “I love being able to see client responses and witness those special moments.”  Review of research was valuable in shaping her approach and focus in music therapy, she says, seeing the evidence of positive change in motivation, social skills, self-awareness, emotion expression and regulation made an impact on her choice to pursue music therapy as a career.

Music Therapy Research

There is a vast array of research related to music therapy.  The following are research articles on music therapy suggested by Heather, which you may find of interest:

How To Get Help

For more information about Paradise Creek Recovery Center and our services for sex and porn addiction, offending behaviors or those on Autism Spectrum with problem sexual behaviors, please call 855.442.1912; or email paradisecreekintake@gmail.com

We look forward to working with you!
 

Want Free Therapy For Addiction? Try Self-Compassion

What is self-compassion?

Multiple therapies can work together to overcome addiction. One of those therapies, which is free and can be used at any time, is self-compassion. While self-compassion by itself will not end an addiction, it is a useful tool for living a happier, healthier life and for changing the brain patterns associated with sexual addiction. Here, essentially, is what it is: treating yourself as you would treat a dear friend or loved one.
What would you do if your friend lost his job? What about if a significant other left him? Or what if he learned he had a debilitating disease? Would you chew him out or tell him that he shouldn’t feel bad? If he made a mistake, lost his temper, forgot something important, or wrecked the car, would you call him names and tell him he’s the only one in the world that does such things? Would you tell him over and over what a horrible or stupid person he is? Most likely, no.

Stop for a moment and think about what you would do.

Would you recognize how your friend might be feeling and feel some of his hurt yourself? Would you try to cheer him up? Would you remind him of the times he’s done things right or express confidence in his ability to get through the situation? Would you want him to be happy? This is compassion. When you feel and do these things for yourself, it is self-compassion.

How can I apply self-compassion in my life?

The age-old adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” applies not only to how we speak of others, but also how we speak and think about ourselves. Just as we have healthier relationships with others as we extend compassion, mercy and grace, overlooking their faults and focusing on their strengths, so too can our relationships with ourselves improve as we forgive ourselves and highlight our own strengths and accomplishments.

Thus, one way to apply self-compassion in our own lives is to be aware of and intentionally modify how we talk and think about ourselves. Choose to think positively. Choose to speak positively.

This is not about being blind to what you are going through or pretending you aren’t feeling your emotions. Rather it is about choosing where to put your focus. For example, if you don’t want to get out of bed and you feel as though you no longer want to exist, but you get out of bed anyway, you could (A) berate yourself for how you feel, or (B) congratulate yourself for having the strength to get up when you don’t want to. (Or, if you didn’t get out of bed, you could (A) berate yourself for how you feel, or (B) congratulate yourself for at least recognizing that it is healthy and beneficial to get up.)

Besides verbally and mentally being self-compassionate, you may want to try journaling or writing yourself a letter. First, write down your negative feelings or thoughts. Then pretend that those are the feelings or thoughts of a best friend or loved one. When you’ve done this, write down your encouragement and support. Here are two examples:

I became angry at my son today and yelled at him. I know you didn’t want to yell at him. You’ve been working on that. And it’s been a week since you last yelled. That’s awesome. A lot of people have trouble controlling their temper. That’s not an excuse, but hopefully you realize that you’re not the only person trying to be better.

I’m not where I should be in life. My friends earn more money than I do and my debt’s getting bigger and bigger. It’s tough to be in debt. It is. And some of your classmates do earn more than you. But you earn more than some people. It really doesn’t matter how much you earn compared to other people. You know you need to learn to live within your means. Perhaps you can take a community education class on budgeting or personal finance.

In summary, whether you do it in your mind, speak it out loud, or write it down, pretend that you are talking or writing to your best friend and offer yourself compassion. Objectively empathize with how you are feeling, remind yourself that others go through hard times too, and help yourself see the positive aspects of the situation. Look for your own strengths and successes. Focus on offering yourself support.

If you want help overcoming your pornography addiction or sexual addiction, call Paradise Creek: (855) 442-1912.

How Does Mindfulness Affect Addiction Treatment?

Mindfulness As An Addiction Treatment

Mindfulness is an addiction therapy that is proving to be successful at preventing relapse, and that can be integrated into other treatment programs.  It is something that can learned and performed anywhere.  One of the reasons mindfulness may contribute to sobriety is that it provides a healthy way to deal with and reduce stress1 and can increase self-acceptance2.  

What is it?  One definition describes it as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally”3.  Essentially, it is consciously being aware of how and who and what you are right now, and doing so without judging yourself.  Other ways of describing or thinking about mindfulness are “objectivity”, “neutralness”, “observing without judgment”, and “self-observing”. In mindfulness, you become an objective observer or scientist, consciously becoming aware of yourself, your experience, and your surroundings.

The idea of what we now call “mindfulness” is not new. Hundreds of years ago, Leonardo da Vinci stated, “An average human looks without seeing, listens without hearing, touches without feeling, eats without tasting, moves without physical awareness, inhales without awareness of odour or fragrance, and talks without thinking.”  In other words, the average human is not mindful.  When we become mindful--when we become aware of what we are doing and experiencing--our human experience becomes richer and more meaningful.

Non-Judgmental Observation

While there are multiple elements of mindfulness--including observing, savoring, meditating and breathing--conscious, non-judgmental observation is its core.  Whether you are at a party, at work, out with friends, or at home, you can choose to intentionally notice the sensations you are experiencing and the thoughts you are thinking.  How does your food taste?  What do your fingers feel as they move around the keyboard clicking keys?  What is it like being with your friend?  What emotions are you feeling?  Simply be aware of what is going on, without passing judgment.

You can use mindfulness to examine how your own addiction works or relapse occurs, and to stop them.  In an article in The Fix, Jenifer Talley says, “The process of becoming nonjudgmentally aware of the components of a compulsion weakens its power. That’s why increasing numbers of clinicians are eagerly incorporating mindfulness into the treatment of substance use disorders, eating disorders, sex addiction and other compulsive behaviors.”4

Observe Instead of React

One of the ways this works is by helping the person become aware of what is going on, and instead of reacting, to continue observing.  Since cravings are temporary, by watching, one can become aware of what triggers the craving, of the craving itself, and then of the craving’s abatement without actually giving in to the craving.

Judson Brewer M.D. Ph.D. puts it this way, “mindfulness helps individuals pay careful attention to their cravings, such that they can see what they are made up of – thoughts and body sensations. Importantly, with this awareness, they can notice cravings as they arise, see how they change from moment to moment (instead of lasting “forever” as some of my patients have described), and as a result, stay with them and ride them out instead of acting on them.”5

You can practice mindfulness throughout the day by asking yourself intentional questions such as:  What emotions am I feeling?  What sensations is my body experiencing presently?  What am I thinking?  As you observe your thoughts, you can intentionally decide whether or not to believe them.

Mindfulness is one of the therapies that Paradise Creek teaches at its recovery center for sexual addiction.  Call (855) 442-1912 to learn more.

Sources:

  1. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2818765/
  2. http://www.naadac.org/mindfulnessandaddiction
  3. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2818765/
  4. http://www.thefix.com/content/mindfulness-addiction-therapy-cravings-awareness8712
  5. http://www.rehabs.com/pro-talk-articles/is-mindfulness-an-emerging-treatment-for-addictions/

Do You Have Addiction Interaction Disorder?

Addiction Interaction Disorder

Many people with a sexual addiction also experience one or more other addictions or compulsive behaviors. And if they don’t have another addiction co-occuring with the sex addiction, the other addiction(s) can occur once the sex addiction has been stopped. These addictions can interact or replace each other, and “fuse” together. This is called Addiction Interaction Disorder (AID), and is something that every person with a possible addiction needs to be aware of.

In the words of Patrick J. Carnes, “Addictions more than coexist, they interact, reinforce, become part of one another. They become packages.”1 Thus, if a person has a sex addiction, the existence of other addictions and the risk of future addictions need to be screened. Additionally, since the addictions in an interaction disorder seem to have common causes, those causes--and not just the addictions--need to be treated. When there is AID, if multiple addictions are not included in the treatment plan and the causes of addiction are not addressed, then chances for recovery will be reduced.

There are multiple ways in which addictions can interact with each other. We’ll briefly describe a few of them.

Replacing One Addiction For Another

First, they can replace one another. In this case, a person may “recover” from one addiction and replace it with another addiction, either right away, or after some time. For example, a person with a sex addiction can ostensibly recover, having healthy, monogamous sex, but replace the addiction with another addiction such as compulsive work or gambling, thus perpetuating risky and dangerous behavior.

Cross-Tolerance

If the replacement occurs quickly and the new addiction is participated in at high levels, this is a sign of cross-tolerance. In other words, a person has a high tolerance for one addiction, and when he starts the new addiction, his tolerance level for it is already high.

Another form of cross-tolerance is when the tolerance for two or more addictions increases at the same time. Examples of this are having an increasing number of sexual encounters while also drinking more often, or both compulsively spending more money and eating more food.

One Addiction To Lessen Withdrawals From Another

Third, addictions can mediate withdrawals. The example set forth in “Bargains With Chaos: Sex Addicts and Addiction Interaction Disorder” by Patrick Carnes, et al., is of alcoholics smoking at Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.2 The cigarettes ease the pain of alcohol withdrawal, but are still an addiction and still constitute a health risk.

Simultaneous Addictive Behavior

Fourth, addictions can “fuse” or become dependent on each other to create the necessary reward. Fusion describes when addictions are engaged in at the same time. Examples would be when a person always drinks when he gambles, but never drinks or gambles without doing the other, or when he smokes while compulsively shopping online. Says Carnes, “Neither addiction separately is sufficient: only simultaneous use suffices.”2

There are other ways in which addictions can interact, but those presented above give an idea of the importance of addressing Addiction Interaction Disorder in any therapy program. As can be seen, a person seeking to overcome sex addiction will be best served when screened for multiple addictions and for the risk of future addictions. The results of the screening should then be included in a comprehensive treatment plan that addresses (1) all the client’s addictions, and (2) the causes of those addictions.

Paradise Creek screens for AID and when indicated, incorporates the screening’s results into its treatment plans. You can call Paradise Creek at (855) 442-1912 for more information.

1Carnes, Patrick J., PhD. “Addiction Interaction Disorder: Understanding Multiple Addictions.” http://www.iitap.com/images/Addiction_Interaction_Disorder101.ppt. Power Point file.
2Carnes, Patrick, Robert Murray, Louis Charpentier. “Bargains With Chaos: Sex Addicts and Addiction Interaction Disorder.” Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 12:79–120, 2005.

How Does Your Prefrontal Control Relate To Internet Addiction?

The following article is a summary of the review paper entitled, “Prefrontal control and Internet addiction: a theoretical model and review of neuropsychological and neuroimaging findings” by Brand, Matthias, Kimberly Young and Christian Laier, as published 27 May 2014 in the journal Frontiers in Human Neuroscience*:

While many people have control over their Internet usage and use it as a tool, some have lost that self control, resulting in negative and social personal consequences. This conclusion is based on a review of existing literature and on the authors’ experiences.

The world-wide scientific community has not yet standardized terminology nor testing related to Internet overuse that results in psychosocial distress. Nor has sufficient research been performed. In fact, the standard reference for American’s mental disorders, the DSM-5, includes only Internet Gaming Disorder. Certainly, however, other Internet-related disorders do occur.

The authors of the review article seek to determine why some people experience loss of self-control related to the Internet. Their hypothesis is that the loss of control occurs in part due to Internet-cues disrupting prefrontal processes.

One model of Internet Addiction states that addiction is linked to either a poor off-line social support and the negative feelings that result from that, or from a pre-disposition for a specific addiction (such as pornography) that happens to be available online. The authors add to this model the effect of negative and positive reinforcements that condition behavior. Expectations can also play a role in creating or maintaining addictive behavior. Expectancies, goals and needs, personality traits, predispositions and mental/emotional disorders can also play a role.

Our prefrontal cortex has been linked to our ability to control conscious behavior. The results of a study that utilized the Game of Dice Task, “suggest that patients with Internet addiction may have reductions in prefrontal control and other executive functioning.”

Neuroimaging has shown that excessive or frequent Internet gaming can change the volume of cells in various areas of the brain. While one study mentioned in the paper reported increased gray matter density, the other studies reported a reduced volume. Other studies provide tentative suggestions that people with Internet addiction have a modified dopamine system that may play a role in loss of control.

Research on Internet Addiction is increasing and tends to indicate that functional changes in certain areas of the brain are correlated to Internet addiction. Indeed, it appears "that prefrontal control processes are reduced in individuals who are addicted to the Internet and may be related to the patients’ loss of control over their Internet use."

Nevertheless, more research is needed on (1) stimuli related to the Internet and brain function, (2) "different types of Internet addiction," and (3) on women. Additionally, research that has already been performed needs to be repeated in different countries and on another age group (i.e., if the research has been done on adults, it needs to be done on adolescents, and vice versa).

People with lower pre-frontal control processes seem to have less ability to utilize coping mechanisms. This, tied with the reinforcements offered by the Internet, create a myopic, Internet-based view of the world. All of this needs to be taken into account by the clinician.

In conclusion, research on Internet Addiction has produced similar results to research on other forms of addiction. The authors of this review agree with other authors in that "this clinically relevant disorder should be classified as a behavioral addiction."

*You can read the original article here: http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fnhum.2014.00375/full

How to Reduce Kid's Screen Time: Set the Example

Wondering how you can reduce the amount of time your children spend interacting with digital devices? A New York Times article offers some suggestions. These include:

  1. A link to “Outsmarting the Smart Screens: A Parent’s Guide to the Tools That Are Here to Help”
  2. A link to Harvard's "Food & Fun" online curriculum, which includes physical activities kids can do instead of using their electronic devices.
  3. Don't allow children to "have their own cellphones or televisions in their bedrooms."
  4. Parents need to learn to interact socially without electronic devices.  (In other words, set the example.)
  5. Create and enforce rules regarding the use of electronic media.

To learn more, read the original article here: http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/07/13/how-to-cut-childrens-screen-time-say-no-to-yourself-first

Are You Using These Free Therapies For Sex Addiction Treatment?

Free Therapies: Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

Sex addiction is a complex issue.  Effective treatment can require a variety of techniques and therapies.  Practicing self-compassion and mindfulness are two therapies that can help you in your recovery.  They are free, and you can start practicing them right away.

Focus on Breathing:  

In mindful breathing, you simply become aware of your breathing.  You don’t try to slow it down or speed it up.  You don’t try to breathe deeper or more shallowly.  You simply focus on breathing.

Kelly McGonigal, PhD suggests three ways to practice mindful breathing.  First, is to repetitively think “inhale” or “exhale” as you breathe in and out.  Second, is be aware of the sensations breathing creates, such as the movement of your belly or the feel of the air in your nostrils.  Third is to count each exhalation until you reach the number ten, then start over.  With all three suggestions, when your thoughts drift to something other than your breath, that’s okay, just refocus on your breathing1.

Savor:  

Rather than dreaming about the past or longing (or worrying) about the future, savor the present moment.  Whether you are eating a meal, spending time with a friend, walking, working, exercising, playing, talking or typing, become aware of what you are doing and delight in it.  Notice the sensations you are experiencing.  How does your food taste?  What do your fingers feel as they move around the keyboard clicking keys?  What is it like being with your friend?  What emotions are you feeling?  

Savor the sunset right now--the vivid pink and orange and purple colors changing shade and brightness as the clouds move and the sun sinks deeper behind the mountains.  Savor being with someone you love.  Savor the food you are eating.  Savor the feel of the breeze, or the heat or the cold.  Savor the feel of your feet hitting hard ground as you walk, or the supporting cushion of your shoes.  

Meditate:  

You can do guided or self-guided meditation, and the meditation can take different forms.  Focusing on different sensations:  the earth, your feet, what you hear, your skin.  It can include imagination, such as imagining a healing energy flowing through you.  You can use music or not.  Kelly McGonigal, even shares the idea of walking while you meditate.2

Pause and Observe:  

Simply stop and notice.  What are your surroundings?  How are you standing or sitting?  What do you smell or hear?  How are you reacting to your thoughts and feelings?  Do not pass judgment, just observe and become aware.  This “Pause and Observe” exercise can help ground you in the present so that you are not worrying about the future nor feeling shame for the past.

Become Your Best Friend:

If your best friend made some mistakes, wouldn’t you give him the benefit of the doubt, encourage him, support him, and focus on his good qualities?  Treat yourself the same way. Find the good in your situation and in yourself.  Focus on the positive.  This is not to say that you should ignore what needs to be changed, but rather that you love yourself and accept yourself as you are, even as you strive to change.

To learn more about overcoming sex addiction using mindfulness and compassion, please contact Paradise Creek Recovery Center at (855) 442-1912.

Sources:

  1. http://kellymcgonigal.com/2012/09/12/mindfulness-of-breathing/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-willpower/201009/walking-meditation-the-perfect-ten-minute-willpower-boost