Am I Addicted?

(Post share from the IRATAD Blog)

At some point a person will come up against the question of “Am I out of control or could I control my behavior if I really desired to?” Many have come across this question and paused because there is no clear answer. It may be that they have been able to compartmentalize problem behaviors, telling themselves specific behavior does not affect the rest of their life or those around them- therefore they are in control. It may be that one is deeply shamed by what they have done and even admitting their behavior is unthinkable. Countless reasons exist for why it is be hard to define if a person is addicted or convince themselves they behave in ways of their own choosing.

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Empathy, Mirror Neurons, and Connecting With Others

This NOVA video discusses how a set of recently discovered brain neurons can help us have emphathy. First discovered in research with monkeys, mirror neurons, can help us connect with both the feelings and actions of others. They also show us that, “We are built to be together.”



Please share your thoughts about empathy and mirror neurons in the reply area below.

Is Sexual Addiction a Problem? YES!

Is Sexual Addiction a Real Problem?

The causes of sexual addictions are complex. Many questions arise as to why some people have an inability to control their addictions while others are unaffected. Research provides unlimited sources of understanding as to what causes an addiction and how it can be facilitated.

To further shed some light on the subject, it might be best to look at the definition of what an addiction is. An addiction is a condition of any kind that takes total control over what a person is doing, thinking, or feeling. There are multiple addictions out there such as drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling, and even an addiction to sexual behaviors. When the body responds to a pleasurable affect that becomes compulsive and incontrollable, interfering with one’s duties and responsibilities of everyday life, then one is known as having an addiction.

Sexual addiction can be termed as a progressive intimacy disorder that is categorized by compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors. Once a person becomes an addict, there are negative implications that increase as the addiction progresses‒ such as infidelity or financial ruin. Over time, the addict must find gratification by intensifying their behavior just to achieve the same results.

Another way to define sexual addiction is when someone engages in persistent patterns of sexual behavior until they escalate out of control. Despite the negative consequences, those that have sexual addictions continue to engage in these types of behaviors that risk their health, create financial problems, and destroy relationships with family, friends, and employers. When sexual addiction becomes a problem, it is often due to a person’s inability to have a healthy response to stress, trauma, or anxiety that is caused from everyday life. More specifically, the addict is unable or unaware of the best way to correctly deal with the emotional mechanism which leads them to search out other ways to deal with their underlying emotions.

There are so many things that can cause addictions in today’s world. Compulsive behaviors arise from emotional links in the brain caused from overstimulation. When this type of behavior receives a feeling of pleasure, reward, or relief, it quickly becomes the primary relationship for the addict. Sexual addiction if often a way to cope with loneliness, anxiety, pain, depression or other painful emotions and stressors.

This becomes a real problem as addiction encompasses more than just a compulsive behavior to an emotional problem. It can also be associated with the inability to deal with feelings, exposure to traumatic events, distortions in a person’s ability to connect with self, or other dysfunctional belief patterns that trigger these specific emotions. This ultimately leads to an unhealthy way of living as the brain tries to reward the person for their addictive actions, thinking it is the only way to feel better. As a person continually encounters pornography or other sexual behaviors, it may also be a way to divert negative emotions that they have formed with other people. Some addictions, especially sexual addictions, are difficult to talk about particularly when a person is already struggling to manage what they don’t truly understand.

Just like all addictions, they will manifest themselves in different forms. Sometimes there may only be a few recognizable symptoms. Other times the signs are there, but seeking help is not always the easiest thing to do. Sexual addiction is a real problem that affects people of all types, ages, and social classes.

Tiny Habits Better Than Focusing on Big Changes

BJ Fogg, an instructor at Stanford, shares the idea that you can change by focusing on making super tiny changes instead of big ones, and then celebrating.



Please share your thoughts about tiny habits in the reply area below.

Ashley Madison: A Symptom of Porn and Sex Addiction?

Ashley Madison: A Symptom of Porn and Sex Addiction?

The now infamous Ashley Madison website was a trap for men. If you haven’t heard of the website, it allowed people to arrange extra-marital affairs.  Most of the users were male.  Of the female users, many were fake.  And then some hackers stole the information of people who had signed up, and posted their data online.1  

Perhaps some people signed up on the site out of curiosity. Others, perhaps were in bad marriages or looking for excitement. Others may have been sex addicts or men who looked at porn.  

Shaunti Feldhahn, has said, “The hard truth is that porn reels in men who would have never set out to devastate their wives and families.”2  Those who visited Ashley Madison may have naively told themselves that they weren’t hurting anyone.  But just as with porn, they were already on the road to destroying themselves and their families.  

Now, with the users of Ashley Madison posted online for all to search, individuals and families can be publically shamed.  Wives may have to deal with their husband’s betrayal, not in private, but with friends and family knowing of the infidelity.  

The good news is, this may also be an opportunity for healing and positive change.  With secrets acts put in the open, perhaps the men and women who violated trust and vows will now have the motivation and help to make things right.  If any of them are addicted to porn or sex, hopefully now they will seek the help they need.

Porn, sex addiction, and adultery hurt both the person participating in them and those who love them.  Get help now.  Call Paradise Creek Recovery immediately at (855) 442-1912. Call Paradise Creek Recovery immediately at (855) 442-1912. We can help you or your loved one discover hope and heal.




2. Shaunti Feldhahn,