Losing Weight, Rock Bottom, Addictions, and Resolutions

(Post share from the IRATAD Blog)

To better care four ourselves we need to pay attention to our physical, mental, social, and spiritual health and strive for a healthy balance amongst each of these dimensions.  Caring for our physical health involves more than just exercising.  We need to get adequate amounts of sleep, eat a healthy diet, and maintain good hygiene.  Caring for our mental health includes reducing stress, finding healthy and positive experiences in our daily life, being mindful of the present situation, and doing things that help us stay mentally sharp.  To care for our social needs we must engage in healthy activities with people who build us up and are positive influences on us; social isolation can lead to unhealthy thoughts and behaviors.  Finally, caring for our spiritual health involves being able to see beyond ourselves and see the big picture.  Spirituality involves being hopeful, recognizing our values, and doing things for the benefit of others.  People may connect with spirituality by reading religious or inspirational texts, meditation or prayer, or by being in nature.

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Caring for Ourselves

(Post share from the IRATAD Blog)

To better care four ourselves we need to pay attention to our physical, mental, social, and spiritual health and strive for a healthy balance amongst each of these dimensions.  Caring for our physical health involves more than just exercising.  We need to get adequate amounts of sleep, eat a healthy diet, and maintain good hygiene.  Caring for our mental health includes reducing stress, finding healthy and positive experiences in our daily life, being mindful of the present situation, and doing things that help us stay mentally sharp.  To care for our social needs we must engage in healthy activities with people who build us up and are positive influences on us; social isolation can lead to unhealthy thoughts and behaviors.  Finally, caring for our spiritual health involves being able to see beyond ourselves and see the big picture.  Spirituality involves being hopeful, recognizing our values, and doing things for the benefit of others.  People may connect with spirituality by reading religious or inspirational texts, meditation or prayer, or by being in nature.

 Read More . . . 

Sexual Addiction and Women

Is there really a difference between a man and a woman who suffers from sexual addiction? Interestingly enough, the answer is yes. Actually, there is a whole collection of misunderstandings and myths that surround women and having an addiction to sex. Since there has not been one set standard to measure addiction between men and women, sexual addiction in women has not been truly acknowledged in society until the past two decades or so. But sexual addiction is a real issue for women for sure, and not just a male phenomenon any more.

When it comes to sexual addiction, it’s really about the mechanics of emotions rather than what people identify it as being sexually intimate. Addictions of any kind prominently stem from an immediate need to satisfy emotional imbalances, and searching for that type of satisfaction with sexual compulsions often leads to an addiction that continues to meet the woman’s emotional disorder.

Women share the same symptoms as men when it comes to becoming addicted to sexual behaviors, usually starting with pornography and infidelity until it grows to the point there is no way to satiate their needs to feel complete. There are several things that can be instantly identified as to why a woman turns to an addiction to sex:

Where this is only a few of the issues regarding women and sexual addiction, it is safe to say that the components of any addiction have negative consequences. Many times women do not identify themselves as having an addiction to sex or having unhealthy sexual behaviors as they believe it is merely an addiction to love, being co-dependent, or a relationship addiction. Without the knowledge to identify this addiction properly, this leads to events that quickly spiral out of control.

Without a proper understanding of sexual addictions, overcoming them is an unreachable goal. Recovering from a sexual addiction takes knowledge, understanding, and counseling. Getting the proper help is vital for recovery.

 

 

Am I Addicted?

(Post share from the IRATAD Blog)

At some point a person will come up against the question of “Am I out of control or could I control my behavior if I really desired to?” Many have come across this question and paused because there is no clear answer. It may be that they have been able to compartmentalize problem behaviors, telling themselves specific behavior does not affect the rest of their life or those around them- therefore they are in control. It may be that one is deeply shamed by what they have done and even admitting their behavior is unthinkable. Countless reasons exist for why it is be hard to define if a person is addicted or convince themselves they behave in ways of their own choosing.

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Empathy, Mirror Neurons, and Connecting With Others

This NOVA video discusses how a set of recently discovered brain neurons can help us have emphathy. First discovered in research with monkeys, mirror neurons, can help us connect with both the feelings and actions of others. They also show us that, "We are built to be together."

 

[av_video src='https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xmx1qPyo8Ks' format='16-9' width='16' height='9' av_uid='av-8h88j']

 

Please share your thoughts about empathy and mirror neurons in the reply area below.

Is Sexual Addiction a Real Problem?

The causes of sexual addictions are complex. Many questions arise as to why some people have an inability to control their addictions while others are unaffected. Research provides unlimited sources of understanding as to what causes an addiction and how it can be facilitated.

To further shed some light on the subject, it might be best to look at the definition of what an addiction is. An addiction is a condition of any kind that takes total control over what a person is doing, thinking, or feeling. There are multiple addictions out there such as drugs, alcohol, shopping, gambling, and even an addiction to sexual behaviors. When the body responds to a pleasurable affect that becomes compulsive and incontrollable, interfering with one’s duties and responsibilities of everyday life, then one is known as having an addiction.

Sexual addiction can be termed as a progressive intimacy disorder that is categorized by compulsive sexual thoughts and behaviors. Once a person becomes an addict, there are negative implications that increase as the addiction progresses‒ such as infidelity or financial ruin. Over time, the addict must find gratification by intensifying their behavior just to achieve the same results.

Another way to define sexual addiction is when someone engages in persistent patterns of sexual behavior until they escalate out of control. Despite the negative consequences, those that have sexual addictions continue to engage in these types of behaviors that risk their health, create financial problems, and destroy relationships with family, friends, and employers. When sexual addiction becomes a problem, it is often due to a person’s inability to have a healthy response to stress, trauma, or anxiety that is caused from everyday life. More specifically, the addict is unable or unaware of the best way to correctly deal with the emotional mechanism which leads them to search out other ways to deal with their underlying emotions.

There are so many things that can cause addictions in today’s world. Compulsive behaviors arise from emotional links in the brain caused from overstimulation. When this type of behavior receives a feeling of pleasure, reward, or relief, it quickly becomes the primary relationship for the addict. Sexual addiction if often a way to cope with loneliness, anxiety, pain, depression or other painful emotions and stressors.

This becomes a real problem as addiction encompasses more than just a compulsive behavior to an emotional problem. It can also be associated with the inability to deal with feelings, exposure to traumatic events, distortions in a person’s ability to connect with self, or other dysfunctional belief patterns that trigger these specific emotions. This ultimately leads to an unhealthy way of living as the brain tries to reward the person for their addictive actions, thinking it is the only way to feel better. As a person continually encounters pornography or other sexual behaviors, it may also be a way to divert negative emotions that they have formed with other people. Some addictions, especially sexual addictions, are difficult to talk about particularly when a person is already struggling to manage what they don’t truly understand.

Just like all addictions, they will manifest themselves in different forms. Sometimes there may only be a few recognizable symptoms. Other times the signs are there, but seeking help is not always the easiest thing to do. Sexual addiction is a real problem that affects people of all types, ages, and social classes.

Tiny Habits Better Than Focusing on Big Changes

BJ Fogg, an instructor at Stanford, shares the idea that you can change by focusing on making super tiny changes instead of big ones, and then celebrating.

 

[av_video src='https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AdKUJxjn-R8' format='16-9' width='16' height='9' av_uid='av-al7ko']

 

Please share your thoughts about tiny habits in the reply area below.

Ashley Madison: A Symptom of Porn and Sex Addiction?

The now infamous Ashley Madison website was a trap for men. If you haven’t heard of the website, it allowed people to arrange extra-marital affairs.  Most of the users were male.  Of the female users, many were fake.  And then some hackers stole the information of people who had signed up, and posted their data online.1  

Perhaps some people signed up on the site out of curiosity. Others, perhaps were in bad marriages or looking for excitement. Others may have been sex addicts or men who looked at porn.  

Shaunti Feldhahn, has said, “The hard truth is that porn reels in men who would have never set out to devastate their wives and families.”2  Those who visited Ashley Madison may have naively told themselves that they weren’t hurting anyone.  But just as with porn, they were already on the road to destroying themselves and their families.  

Now, with the users of Ashley Madison posted online for all to search, individuals and families can be publically shamed.  Wives may have to deal with their husband’s betrayal, not in private, but with friends and family knowing of the infidelity.  

The good news is, this may also be an opportunity for healing and positive change.  With secrets acts put in the open, perhaps the men and women who violated trust and vows will now have the motivation and help to make things right.  If any of them are addicted to porn or sex, hopefully now they will seek the help they need.

Porn, sex addiction, and adultery hurt both the person participating in them and those who love them.  Get help now.  Call Paradise Creek Recovery immediately at (855) 442-1912. Call Paradise Creek Recovery immediately at (855) 442-1912. We can help you or your loved one discover hope and heal.

  

Sources:

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashley_Madison

2. Shaunti Feldhahn, http://www.christianitytoday.com/edstetzer/2015/september/ashley-madison-exposes-more-than-just-names-men-and-women-h.html

 

How Do I Know If I Have an Addiction to Pornography or Other Sexual Behaviors?

For most of us it’s difficult to admit we have an addiction. Our natural tendency is to push off the obvious signs and evidence that occur with compulsive behaviors. Often times, someone that develops an addiction to pornography or other sexual behaviors suffer with the unfortunate loss of loved ones, falls into financial woes, and then unintentionally develops uncharacteristic mood swings that eventually severs them from their normal activities.

If you feel that you have an addiction to pornography or other sexual behaviors, these are some signs to watch for:

If you relate to three or more behaviors listed in the above criteria, it is important to seek treatment. Pornography and sexual behaviors can be clearly defined as psychological or emotional addiction. Dependencies for these compulsive behaviors grow uncontrollable and quickly become detrimental to an individual’s life.

Getting to the root of sexual and porn addiction comes from years of study from Dr. Patrick Carnes, a pioneer in sexual addiction research and the treatment for it. He explains that an addiction to pornography contains four core beliefs. These are the results of most sexual addicts:

  1. I am basically a bad, unworthy person.
  2. No one would love me as I am.
  3. My needs are never going to be met if I have to depend on others.
  4. Sex is my most important need.

Dr. Carnes further explains that most addictions to sex or pornography start in childhood due to the lack of human care. Sexual addiction becomes confused with basic comforting and nurturing development and the subject will continue engaging in this negative behavior until it has grown into an addiction. As a result, they soon learn to depend on these feelings and develop compulsive sexual behaviors, acting on sexual impulses without regard to the consequences they create.

As more time passes, the person may develop other forms of sexual addiction. Some of those lead to substance abuse, dominance, control, or the abuse of a partner. Sexual activities can vary in a wide range‒ from very limited sexual activity all the way to a collection of sexual paraphernalia and encounters that includes high levels of fantasy.

Shame and secrecy most often accompanies the sex addict. These addictions cannot foster healthy relationships and have negative consequences. The ability to enjoy sex becomes impossible as the typical addict appears to have no control over these impulses. A sexual appetite grows exponentially until they will let nothing stand in the way of their sexual needs being fulfilled.

Like any compulsive behavior left untreated, it will continue to grow out of control. For those who feel like they have imprisoned their emotional power towards sexual behaviors, finding treatment to renew inner-beliefs and strengthen one’s ability to address the problem is just one step away.

Three Aspects of Compassion

In this video interview, Kristin Neff talks about self compassion. In it, she mentions three aspects of compassion:

  1. Noticing
  2. Being Supportive
  3. Realizing everyone has problems

[av_video src='https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tyl6YXp1Y6M' format='16-9' width='16' height='9' av_uid='av-94c0p']

 

Please share your thoughts about compassion and self-compassion in the reply area below.