Revealing the Connection Between Depression and Addiction

You've been living with your addiction for a while now. However, every attempt at rehab or recovery continues to fall short. But why? Could a mental health issue like anxiety or depression be driving your addiction?

Mental health issues are common. Disorders such as depression and anxiety can lead to thoughts and emotions that leave you wanting to escape or numb out. As a result, addictive behaviors have turned into destructive addiction. So, why isn't rehab helping you overcome your addiction for good?

In this article, we'll discuss why depression or anxiety may be keeping you from enjoying the benefits of addiction recovery.

Could Depression Be Driving My Addiction?

Before we discuss if depression could be driving your addiction, let's first define what depression is.

All of us experience bad days. Likewise, we may have periods of sadness, grief, or frustration. However, there's a difference between a few bad days and depression. The key difference is it lasts for at least two weeks. Likewise, symptoms interfere with your ability to function and maintain everyday life. The following are symptoms you may experience daily:

There are many symptoms of depression. Therefore, symptoms can appear differently from person to person. However, a good indication to determine if you're sad or if it may be something more is whether you're able to go to work or engage in social activities. If you're turning to addictive behaviors to bury your emotions, seeking professional support is vital.

The Vicious Cycle of Depression and Addiction

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates 10 percent of Americans suffer from depression.

Addiction is common among people who are struggling with depression. For example, you may reach for drugs or alcohol to lift your spirits or numb your emotions. Similarly, you may turn to your porn or sex addiction to combat negative feelings. As a result, addiction and depression follow each other into a vicious cycle—both making a difficult situation worse.

Suppose you have both an addiction and mental health issue. Then, you likely have what's called a dual diagnosis. A dual diagnosis is a combination of a mental disorder and an addiction such as sex, drugs, or alcohol.

Depression not only impacts your happiness but can also impact your safety. Likewise, it can weaken your immune system. However, adding addiction to the mix increases the risks to both your physical and emotional health. So, as day-to-day activities become unbearable, turning to porn or sex addiction may seem like the only way to escape. However, it's only temporary. Once the negative feelings return, you find yourself needing to turn to your addiction to quiet your thoughts or numb them out. As a result, the vicious cycle continues.

I May Have An Addiction and Depression, Is There Help For Me?

The good news is, there are specialized treatment centers that can help you address both your addiction and depression. A dual diagnosis can be complex, especially when it involves porn or sex addiction. Addressing both issues will be crucial to interrupting the cycle you're stuck in. For example, if you're unable to address your depression, it's likely to continue to drive your addiction and vice versa. However, with the right help, you can learn the skills necessary to have the enjoyable and hopeful life you deserve.

At Paradise Creek Recovery Center, we understand the importance of addressing all of the issues that may be present. Our therapists are trained to address and treat dual diagnoses. As you work toward recovery from your porn or sex addiction, it will be just as crucial to learn skills to help you manage any mental health issues. We would love to help you on your journey toward hope and healing. Please visit our website or call us to learn more.

The Not So Startling Connection Between Porn Addiction and Infidelity

It all started with curiosity. You never intended your innocent discovery of pornography to lead to infidelity. What's worse, the heartache your spouse feels due to your actions is almost unbearable. So how did you get here, and how can you get out?

People who begin to view porn early in life often have one thing in common; they never imagined it would lead to a destructive addiction. Are you wondering how you're on the brink of losing everything when this started as seemingly harmless entertainment? Is it possible to recover and repair relationships after infidelity?

In this article, we'll talk about why porn and sex addictions can develop so quickly. We'll also talk about the progression of viewing porn to infidelity.

Porn addiction and Infidelity

Enough.org posted alarming statistics from research done by BBFC in 2019. According to their "Youth and Porn Stats," 93.2% of boys and 62.1% of girls have seen online pornography before age 18. Likewise, 72% of 18-year-olds say, "Pornography leads to unrealistic attitudes to sex." Furthermore, "Porn can have a damaging impact on young people's views of sex or relationships." (enough.org) As you can imagine, early exposure can lead to various issues over time, including legal troubles and infidelity.

We know repeated exposure to anything causes desensitization. For example, young children and teens may first feel disgusted. Others may feel curious and want to view more. However, as they continue to view pornography, it can lead to a sense of acceptance or justification, "Everyone is doing it."

The problem is, like other addictions, porn use stimulates the reward system in the brain. After repeated exposure, the same response system requires an increase or a different form of pornography. As you continue to engage, your addiction can turn from viewing soft porn to hard porn. It continues to escalate as the drive for the next 'high' or 'fix' gets harder to obtain. As a result, the perception of sex and intimacy continues to change as the fantasy world and reality collide.

Over time, your addiction enslaves you to sex and pornography as it replaces your relationship. After all, the simple pleasures that come with physical intimacy are no longer enjoyable. Your sex life with your partner becomes boring. You may even feel frustration as your fantasies on the screen differ from the real world. Hence, it's no surprise that, over time, pornography use can lead to infidelity. The bitter truth about addiction is as it takes over, the only thing you can think about is feeding your addiction.

How did I get from viewing porn to committing infidelity?

SmartLoving.org breaks down the connection between pornography, sexual assault, and infidelity. For example, did you know, nearly all sexual assault perpetrators also use porn?

There are also many issues that pornography can lead to. Examples include erectile dysfunction, sleep deprivation, and financial issues. Often times sexual infidelity accompanies or follows pornography use. This could appear as masturbation, phone sex, sex with a prostitute, or infidelity. (smartloving.org)

Viewing Porn Led to Infidelity, What Do I Do Now?

If viewing pornography has turned into an addiction, you may notice a pattern of use. For example, you may view porn if you're feeling depressed, angry, bored, lonely, tired, or just uncomfortable. Likewise, you may be to a point where you're desperate to feel the 'high' your brain has learned to demand. As a result, you may not realize how deep into your addiction you are until you're entertaining or engaging in sexual infidelity.

At Paradise Creek Recovery Center, we understand the beast of sexual addiction. Likewise, we know the path of porn addiction can lead to infidelity. We're here to help you recover. As you begin this journey, you'll have people who understand how you're in the position you are. Call us today to take the first step on your road to recovery.

How Can Innocent Curiosity Lead to a Full Blown Porn Addiction?

Your parents may have worked tirelessly to set up filters and block adult content from making its way onto your screen. Likewise, they may have taught you all the reasons why to avoid pornography. However, years later, you find yourself living with a porn addiction and wondering how this all happened.

As easy access to pornography increases, so does the risk of porn addiction. Through research, we continue to find similarities between porn addiction and other addictions. Research provides insight into why porn addictions may form. As a result, we're learning more about what's behind the powerful force of pornography that keeps addicts entangled in the web of addiction.

In this article, we'll talk about porn addiction. We'll also discuss some of the possibilities that may indicate where your porn addiction began.

What is porn addiction?

Porn addiction is the compulsive urge to view pornography. There's a big difference between porn addiction and viewing pornography, and that's control. For example, you may not want to view porn anymore, but intense thoughts drive you back to view more. Likewise, there may be negative consequences that follow your addictive behaviors, but the risks don't deter you.

One of the main characteristics of any addiction is the inability to control compulsive urges. You want to stop viewing pornography, but you can't. Likewise, when life, or areas of life, become unmanageable without the behavior or substance, it's likely an addiction.

While there is not a specific diagnosis in the DSM, the characteristics and symptoms can be as destructive as any other addiction. Like other addictions, people face the same challenges as they work toward recovery.

The good news is, although the APA doesn't recognize porn addiction, many other professionals and organizations do. As a result, help to regain control of your life may be a few clicks away.

Where Do Porn Addictions Start?

There is a lot of controversy surrounding whether porn addiction is real. For example, some feel there is a lack of scientific evidence to support a specific diagnosis. Some studies even discredit other reports by presenting research that seems to be in opposition to others. The good news is, there are many professionals who treat this as an addiction.

What does scientific evidence seem to show? Like many addictions, your genetics predispose you to addictive behaviors. As such, you can become addicted rather quickly, including to pornography. How? As your body reacts to images on a screen, chemicals release. Then, your brain sends a signal that you want to experience that feeling again. Research indicates porn activates the reward system in the brain, similar to some drug addictions. With the ease of accessibility, it's no wonder why the number of people seeking treatment is rising. Imagine a seven or eight-year-old child who keeps their viewing a secret for years. Their innocent curiosity could easily lead to porn addiction before they reach adulthood.

Other factors influence your susceptibility to addiction. For example, mental health issues come into play. Some turn to pornography to fill a void or escape feelings of depression or anxiety.

An important part of recovery is getting to the root of the problem. In other words, processing the 'why' behind your porn addiction is vital to your success. For some, it may be due to simple curiosity. For others, however, the issues may be much deeper.

Regardless of the 'why,' treatment may offer you hope. You deserve to regain the freedom and control you once enjoyed. At Paradise Creek Recovery Center, we are here to help you through the healing and recovery process of porn addiction. Visit our website to learn more.

5 Great Ways To Strengthen A Relationship After Discovering Porn Addiction

The devastation that comes with discovering a porn addiction is often unexplainable. Likewise, learning your spouse has a porn addiction can lead to so many questions. Why? When? Where? How? Like many other things, the status of your relationship may no longer be clear. Is it possible to move forward together after such a major violation of trust? Can the relationship be strengthened after such a life-changing bombshell?

The decision to remain in your relationship and move forward together is one that some couples make. Likewise, there's no right or wrong choice; it's ultimately up to the two of you. Although the journey is difficult, it is possible to heal and regain trust within the relationship.

In this article, we'll provide 5 great ideas that may help you strengthen your relationship after discovering a porn addiction.

How Does Porn Addiction Affect the Relationship?

There are many ways a porn addiction can affect a relationship. Like any addiction, there are often many lies and secrets intertwined in the behaviors of addiction. That alone can lead to broken trust and heartache. Likewise, porn addiction can cause rewiring in the brain. As such, that can affect the relationship in a variety of ways. For example, there are likely damaging effects on intimacy within the relationship. Usually, there's a distortion between sexual fantasy and reality, which affects the relationship.

Then, there's the discovery of an addiction that can create another set of issues. Finding out about an addiction can feel like a bombshell. As a result, it can shatter trust in an instant. The feeling of betrayal can leave you with symptoms similar to those of PTSD. Likewise, it can lead to frustration, accusations, and an abundance of distress within the relationship.

However, the good news in all of this is through dedication and hard work, couples can heal. Porn addiction recovery is achievable. Furthermore, strength and trust within the relationship are attainable.

5 ways to strengthen a relationship after discovering an addiction

  1. Set boundaries. Setting boundaries can be a great way to begin to restore trust. Likewise, boundaries can create a safety net, especially when clear consequences accompany them. Examples could include:

    • Require apps and website access to be deleted. This could include allowing you to change passwords to the app store and specific accounts on all electronic devices.
    • Identify places where electronics are not allowed. (bathrooms, behind locked doors, etc.)
    • Access to phone, texts, or other electronics upon request
    • Specific physical or emotional space
    • Attend and participate in treatment or 12-step program
  2. Seek support and treatment. Porn addiction comes with a complex set of issues. However, with treatment and support, you can increase the likelihood of both healing and recovery.
  3. Be transparent. Answers to questions will require transparency for effective healing to take place. Likewise, healing can be more authentic through complete transparency.
  4. Self-care. When you're spinning in anger and grief, it can be difficult to eat, sleep, and interact with others. Through self-care, you can focus on getting enough sleep, eating nutritiously, and getting yourself ready for the day. Furthermore, self-care can help you to acknowledge the emotions you're feeling. In other words, self-care may contribute to your mental health and your relationship.
  5. Plan together. Healing and rebuilding trust is going to take time, effort, and commitment. Furthermore, a plan of action is likely to be more effective if both of you are involved in the process.

Discovering a spouse's porn addiction is likely to be life-changing. Like isn't likely to return to normal. However, if both of you want your relationship to remain intact, we may be able to help. At Paradise Creek Recovery Center, we help those with porn addictions through the recovery process. Call us today to learn more.

3 Ideas to Help Ring in the New Year Without Your Porn Addiction

For many of us, seeing 2020 come to an end is going to be a joyous occasion. With 2021 on the horizon, you may be thinking about goals you want to set and achieve over the next year. For example, you are ready to say goodbye to your porn addiction. Yet, you wonder, with all the stress that continues to surround you, if recovery is possible.

Like any addiction, porn addiction is a difficult one to beat. However, you feel ready to take on the challenge and have high hopes for recovery. After all, you're eager to experience life without your porn addiction in 2021. So, what can you do to begin this journey? Where do you start?

Let's discuss porn addiction. We'll provide 3 ideas that may help you move toward porn addiction recovery as you ring in the new year.

What is porn addiction?

Technically speaking, you won't find porn addiction in the official diagnosis book known as the DSM. However, many clinicians will tell you, porn addiction is as real as any other addiction. The damaging effects and changes to the brain it can cause are also just as real.

Porn addiction is the uncontrollable compulsive urge to view pornography. While the intent may be to stop, when thoughts come to turn to porn, they are often so intense that opting out is no longer a simple task. Instead, life, or areas of life, become unmanageable without it. Over time, many begin to choose porn over family, work, vacation time, and anything else. It can change the way your brain intakes, processes, and stores information. Likewise, it can damage relationships, sometimes beyond repair.

However, there is hope. Millions of people are living life in recovery and enjoying the freedoms that come with it. With the right tools, porn addiction recovery is attainable.

3 Ideas to Help you Begin Your Journey Toward Porn Addiction Recovery

  1. Commit to recovery. If your goal is to overcome your addiction, the first thing you can do is tell someone. Like many addictions, secrets, lies, and hidden agendas often accompany porn addiction. So, the first thing you can do is tell your partner, friend, or loved one you're ready to get help. Then, commit to recovery every morning of every day from here on out. While the journey won't be easy, knowing your commitment starts over every day can be a great first step.
  2. Set Filters and Delete Apps. The next idea to help you on your path toward recovery is to limit access. After you tell your loved one about your desire for help and commitment to recovery, then it's time to delete everything you can. For example, delete saved websites, accounts, and apps. Then, you can ask someone to install an anti-porn filter on every device in your home, but they'll need to keep the password to themselves. Remember to include any children's devices too.
  3. Come up with a plan to fill your time. It would be wonderful if a solid commitment and deleting access to porn is all it takes to achieve recovery. However, that's just helping you set up your line of defense. The intense work begins with that first trigger. For example, the initial thought, urge, and desire to turn to your porn addiction will likely come with great intensity. So, what can you do? You can come up with ways to distract. Examples include having a support person to talk to, exercise, journaling, and avoiding isolation. Any healthy, reliable idea is worth writing down. Over time, you'll have a list of options to turn to to help keep you safe from relapse.

I'm Committed to Porn Addiction Recovery, but I Need More Help

Another similarity between porn addiction and other addictions is the need for help. Many addictions are extremely difficult to overcome without support. So, you could reach out to a support group. Likewise, you could seek a professional therapist who specializes in porn addiction treatment.

There are many ways to overcome your addiction and achieve your goal of recovery. An essential part of your success will be to have tools in place that work for you.

At Paradise Creek Recovery Center, we understand how complex porn addiction recovery can be. We help clients acquire the tools they'll need for success. We may be able to help you ring in the new year with a relapse prevention plan in place. Likewise, we would love to see if we can help you find success on your journey toward recovery. Call us today.

The PCRC Weekly Support Group

The PCRC Weekly Support Group by Jacob Stacy, LCSW, CSAT-C 

Jacob StacyClients transitioning from residential or out-patient sex addiction treatment need supportive bridges in their aftercare plan, to support each person landing back into life.  Early recovery is uncharted territory for the addict, one frequently filled with many relapse triggers. Navigating recovery-life commonly increases anxiety, and may decrease one’s sense of safety, making unhealthy isolation seem like a tempting idea for the introverted porn addict. Change is a challenge for even the most well-adjusted individuals.  Sex addicts often report to their therapists, “it feels like I’m drinking from the fire hose,” when discussing how things are going post-treatment. Creating a support system becomes the first goal towards preventing old behaviors from gaining a potential foothold for the addict again.   

Paradise Creek Recovery Center developed a weekly alumni support group which helps our men maintain a connection in this transition.  This group is offered for several reasons. The participant voices are familiar and reassuring, as the clients were introduced to the support group prior to leaving treatment. This practice creates a jump start to the addict’s new routine at home. The common sharing of each members’ “experience, strength and hope,” which acknowledges although early recovery is hard, it can be accomplished successfully with support and perseverance.  The participants share their failures and successes for the new member to hear what worked and what didn’t. All in attendance benefit from the experience in both giving and receiving.   

Asking for help from others is one of the most vulnerable states for addicts to experience and is key to the development of health attachments and connectivity with others. More experienced alumni may ask for help negotiating through particular life issues, share exciting new experiences or interesting information they found useful.  Men who have come and gone throughout the years, have returned to the group and reconnected with old treatment friends and/or created new friendships. 

The overall benefits of participation in the alumni support group are witnessed in many dimensions in each participants recovery: 

The Paradise Creek Recovery Center Alumni Support Group has experienced great attendance and engaging recovery discussions.   The free hour-long weekly support group occurs every Thursday at 7:00PM Mountain time. - the only requirement for participation is prior treatment at Paradise Creek Recovery Center.  Though the group is not a therapy group, it is facilitated by a staff member.  The addition of this support group to the PCRC menu of services has created an uplifting and enriching community to assist our alumni in self care and support of brothers.  They come to understand recovery is enhanced when shared, as they continue living a sober life through service.

How To Get Help 

For more information about Paradise Creek Recovery Center and our services for sex and porn addiction, offending behaviors or those presenting ASD with problem sexual behaviors, please call 855.442.1912, or email paradisecreekintake@gmail.com 

We look forward to working with you! 

Working with Partner Betrayal Trauma

Working with Partner Betrayal Trauma by Dr. A.Todd Freestone, Psy.D., LCSW, CSAT

Dr. Todd FreestoneIn the most recent decade, spouses and partners of sex or porn addicts have benefitted by the shift to a targeted focus on their specific needs. The discovery of their loved ones’ addiction comes with shock, accompanied by a wave of secrets and lies now exposed. In the introduction of their 2009 book: Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal, Dr. Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means, offer the spouse “help to survive, recover and thrive, no matter what your partner does with his/her addiction.”  The research and writing have defined this attachment and relational disruption as partner betrayal trauma, shifting the therapy focus to identifying and addressing the immediate life needs to function amidst the crisis.  The spouse is then encouraged to share her/his whole-person experience, without judgment or a presupposing diagnosis regarding their trauma reaction.   Therapy continues with addiction education while addressing betrayal trauma symptoms, providing partners strategies and practice to support their healing.  Spouses are now met by a growing number of professionals who approach therapy through the lens of trauma instead of one of co-dependency.

The former co-addict or codependent model pre-supposed the spouse to have their own issues in need of treatment. Otherwise, why be in a relationship with the pornography addict…right?  Not actually.  The truth is, many of these behaviors formerly seen as “enabling,” or “codependent”, are really very normal betrayal trauma or relational trauma reactions. This former therapeutic approach often left already wounded partners feeling misunderstood, with the sense they somehow were responsible for the infidelity and relational betrayal.  The perception that the addict’s behavior is the spouse's fault couldn’t be further from the truth.  Clinicians working with partners frequently describe them reeling with overwhelm while recounting the new knowledge of the addicts’ sexual behaviors; “I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck, this is not who I married.”  The spouses’ discovery of the addict’s behavior is shocking, leaving them dizzy, sleepless, and numb.  All of these descriptions are normal responses to an abnormal relational betrayal or trauma.

It is a part of being in the human experience to suffer trauma.  John Bradshaw defines trauma as “any shattering of the expected reality.”  That trauma is part of the human condition, has been an eye-opening revelation. We are often confronted with traumatic events. However, there are different levels of trauma, and our reactions to these traumas are as different as the traumatic events which occur.

The trauma literature identifies four different levels of trauma, with relation to the level of danger, as well as, the level of relationship to the individuals involved.  Consider a low level of danger with a low level of relationship with the other(s) involved in the trauma, e.g. backing out of a parking space and bumping into another car. Or again, where the danger level remains low, but instead with a high-value relationship with the person involved, e.g. hitting another car while driving your best friend’s car.  Both events would be upsetting and possibly tragic, but the overall effect of both is less likely to cause mental health concerns.

However, when a high level of danger is involved, with a high level of relationship to the person(s) is involved, there is an increased probability of mental health concerns or a traumatic response evolving. The following are examples of high danger/high relationship events:

Thus, a spouse who experiences painful betrayal with their addict partner (boundary violations, lies, STD’s, gaslighting, arrest, etc.), will show an enhanced likelihood of emotional dysregulation and traumatic reaction.  Additionally, those partners who have historical experiences of other traumatic events can exhibit even greater distress, which may require additional therapy and support strategies.  

We now know traumas are cumulative in impact and additive in effect, no matter how insignificant they may appear.  It is believed one in four girls is sexually abused before reaching age 16, with one in three by age 18.  The statistics on men are also scary.  One in five boys is reported to be sexually abused prior to reaching age 18.  When the traumatic effects of betrayal trauma, combined with adverse childhood events/trauma, there is a compounded interweaving of neurochemistry.  This can create a sense of life being “out of control” along with reactive/over-responsive emotions.  This is not a fault, but rather a fact to be supported therapeutically.

Advancements in understanding the brain, its neurobiology, and neuroplasticity has provided addiction and mental health professionals an enhanced knowledge. Targeted new therapies and interventions support change with trauma and addiction.  The betrayal trauma model has moved therapists to respond to the spouse through the trauma lens specifically, in an invitational and validating approach.  While the spouse in triaging the presenting crisis, the spouse and therapist are able to strategize interventions for safety and survival supportive of functional living.  Once immediate needs are attended to, the therapist can then educate the partner on addiction, and the fact the addict’s loved ones are neither the cause nor the cure. Therapy then begins to address the broken attachment and relational betrayal as a result of the devastation and pain caused by the addict. The partner can start to evaluate their needs and the next steps in relationship with the addict.   Through therapeutic interventions, the couple will safely work toward common goals of the relationship and co-parenting when children are involved.  This process remains thoughtful, supportive, and evolving based on the needs of the partner and evidence of empathy and accountability for the addict.  

At Paradise Creek Recovery Center we are acutely aware that hurtful behaviors never happen in a vacuum.  Our therapists are attentive to betrayal trauma and work hard to validate and support the partner’s voice in therapy with the addict. The PCRC Team helps the client in our care dig deeper to understand how their behavior affects others, as well as how this lack of understanding and empathy has brought them to this crisis point.  For those addicts and spouses interested in therapy, our therapists facilitate interaction with the partner and/or family members in a safe and supportive environment.  We offer options for face-to-face therapy at Paradise Creek Recovery Center, secure video or phone interaction, depending on the needs and desires of the partner or family members.  We are committed to helping healing take place, holding true to our treatment process motto, “A Safe Place to Heal.”

For more in-depth information on the topic of partners and betrayal trauma, relational trauma or attachment trauma, we suggest the following highly regarded book:  Your Sexually Addicted Spouse - How Partners Can Cope and Heal by Dr. Barbara Steffens, Ph.D., LPCC and Marsha Means, MA, New Horizon Press ©2009 

 

1 Steffens, Barbara and Means, Marsha, “Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How 

Partners can Cope and Heal”, Introduction, 1

How To Get Help

For more information about Paradise Creek Recovery Center and our services for sex and porn addiction, offending behaviors or those on Autism Spectrum with problem sexual behaviors, please call 855.442.1912; or email paradisecreekintake@gmail.com

We look forward to working with you!

Music Therapy At Paradise Creek Recovery Center

Music Therapy at Paradise Creek Recovery Center with Heather Overly, SCMT, CBMT

Over the past two decades, the exponential growth in research on substance use disorders (e.g. alcoholism, drug addiction) and process addictions (e.g. sex addiction, porn addiction, eating disorders, offending behaviors, etc.), as well as trauma, has encouraged clinicians to consider additional therapeutic interventions supportive of tapping into the brain’s neuroplasticity, for changing behaviors.  Professionals are eager to find evidence based and research driven therapies, which invite and anchor healthy change. Paradise Creek Recovery Center (PCRC), a residential program for men with sex or porn addiction, offending behaviors or individuals on spectrum with problem sexual behaviors, has found a useful tool toward this goal by utilizing Music Therapy as one of the many helpful interventions.

Why music therapy?

There is growing body of research showing the benefits of the therapeutic integration of music.  There are numerous TEDx talks sharing this research such as: Your Brain is Better on Music | Alex Doman | TEDx Ogden. He discusses his 25 years of research on music and its therapeutic benefits.  Mr. Doman helps viewers to explore how as human’s we are “wired” for music’s positive effects of enhancing learning, emotion regulation, stress reduction, reducing depression and suicide, improving sleep, and many more…all by “engaging the whole of our brain.” - which music uniquely does.

Music therapy engages those areas of the brain supportive of positive change.  It is invitational - individuals quickly realize participation in a rhythm, a tone or a lyric is experiential and fun, providing the participant to consider their particular experience of the session or sessions.  The American Music Therapy Association® governs the professional standards of music therapy practice as “the clinical and evidence-based use of music interventions to address physical, emotional, cognitive and social needs” of those served.  It encourages clinicians in music therapy practice to participate and present research, supporting ongoing education of the mental health and medical communities at large.  For more in depth information and useful research involving the use of music therapy as an approach on a broad range of behavioral and medical issues, please see the American Music Therapy Association® website.

Heather Overly, SCMT, CBMT

Heather-Overly Since November of 2016, Heather Overly, SCMT, CBMT, has been the therapist providing music therapy for men at Paradise Creek Recovery Center. Heather meets weekly with PCRC men for a 90-minute group. She described the following benefits she sees in applying music therapy in treatment for sex and porn addiction, offending behaviors and those clients on the autism spectrum with problem sexual behaviors.  “I see them internalizing and improving their motivation for recovery.  Treatment for sex addiction is often externally motivated - music therapy can support the client’s ownership of why they are in treatment.” Music is also a way to safely experience emotional release, “music does it without words, but allows them to process with words as well.”  Music therapy supports group cohesion and inclusivity with the emphasis of group strength - each understanding they’ve become a part of a greater whole. The client's stress and anxiety is reduced with music relaxation and movement exercises. Lyric analysis affords each participant to assign their own meaning, encouraging insight, self-awareness and self-reflection.  Music therapy becomes a portable tool and coping skill, as they learn to play, express emotion, and self-sooth anger and anxiety.  The participants also become more mindful of music they listen to.  “We encourage them to develop a resiliency playlist.  They become more aware of how music affects them.  We see them discard a song and choose one more supportive of their recovery - that really makes me really happy.”

It's A New Day

The first music therapy assignment is the act of creating a positive affirmation chant, a unique way to set personal goals during their first week of treatment.  Heather provides an easy to use template to start.  The clients will then engage in writing their own chant the following week.  This process continues throughout their treatment experience - with all of their music and lyrics being saved.  During the last music therapy session, near treatment is completion, they share their first chant, followed by their most recent chant, and compare the two.  “I often hear the comment, “I was so shallow.”  Music therapy is only one of the current therapies helping each client have an overall great experience at PCRC. “I find the music therapy really brings the guys together in a shared experience as they write the lyrics - it becomes the concrete representation of their teamwork and shared trust, while acknowledging each participants contribution.” The overall experience of the process is carried together, both in and outside of therapy, as well as in individual and group sessions.

Heather Overly Playing GuitarMs. Overly found her passion while in school at Utah State University, achieving her BS in Music Therapy in 2001.  “I learned about music therapy with older adults and had the opportunity to observe and learn how music therapy engages participants.”  She has practiced utilizing drumming, music improvisation, song writing, lyric analysis, and client sharing meaningful songs with the group. “I love being able to see client responses and witness those special moments.”  Review of research was valuable in shaping her approach and focus in music therapy, she says, seeing the evidence of positive change in motivation, social skills, self-awareness, emotion expression and regulation made an impact on her choice to pursue music therapy as a career.

Music Therapy Research

There is a vast array of research related to music therapy.  The following are research articles on music therapy suggested by Heather, which you may find of interest:

How To Get Help

For more information about Paradise Creek Recovery Center and our services for sex and porn addiction, offending behaviors or those on Autism Spectrum with problem sexual behaviors, please call 855.442.1912; or email paradisecreekintake@gmail.com

We look forward to working with you!
 

Adolescent girls and pornography

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Reid and Colleagues (2001) defined pornography as ‘materials that creates or elicits sexual feelings or thoughts, and contains explicit images or descriptions of sexual acts involving the genitals’. When a considerable time is spent on watching pornographic materials and the entire thought process gets centered on them and it affects studies and other normal functioning, this condition can be termed as addiction. Adolescents learn sexual behaviours by observing the sexually explicit material (Alex, Burges & Prentkey, 2009; Haggestrom- Nordin 2006; Haggstrom—Nordian, Tyden, Hanson, Larsson, 2009 and Hunter 2010). They believe these materials might serve as a source of knowledge but most of the time this distorts their images of reality (Huggstrom—Nordin, 2006). Exposure to pornography creates distorted or deviant messages about sexual relationships and sexual behaviours. A serious concern is the impact of pornified culture on adolescents as they at times tend to understand relationships through the lens of this culture. This pornified environment with lack of healthy information affects their vulnerability to victimization and perpetration. Haggstrom—Nordin (2005) has reported that 76% of high school girls watch pornography. Sexual activities in adolescent girls have risks like pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases etc.

Examined exposure to Internet pornography before the age of 18, as reported by college students (n = 563), via an online survey. Ninety-three percent of boys and 62% of girls were exposed to online pornography during adolescence. Exposure prior to age 13 was relatively uncommon. Boys were more likely to be exposed at an earlier age, to see more images, to see more extreme images (e.g., rape, child pornography), and to view pornography more often, while girls reported more involuntary exposure.  Exposure to pornography on the Internet can be described as a normative experience for adolescents. Adolescent girls also now have greater opportunity than ever before to present themselves publicly to a geographically disparate audience. Many young girls choose to display information about their sexuality and sexual lives, such as by indicating their sexual orientations on their SNS profiles, posting stories and poems about sexual desire and experience on blogs, sharing naked or semi-naked pictures and videos of themselves on SNS profiles and via mobile phones (“sexting”), and discussing sexual Reid and Colleagues (2001) defined pornography as ‘materials that creates or elicits sexual feelings or thoughts, and contains explicit images or descriptions of sexual acts involving the genitals’. When a considerable time is spent on watching pornographic materials and the entire thought process gets centered on them and it affects studies and other normal functioning, this condition can be termed as addiction. Adolescents learn sexual behaviours by observing the sexually explicit material (Alex, Burges & Prentkey, 2009; Haggestrom- Nordin 2006; Haggstrom—Nordian, Tyden, Hanson, Larsson, 2009 and Hunter 2010). They believe these materials might serve as a source of knowledge but most of the time this distorts their images of reality (Huggstrom—Nordin, 2006). Exposure to pornography creates distorted or deviant messages about sexual relationships and sexual behaviours. A serious concern is the impact of pornified culture on adolescents as they at times tend to understand relationships through the lens of this culture. This pornified environment with lack of healthy information affects their vulnerability to victimization and perpetration. Haggstrom—Nordin (2005) has reported that 76% of high school girls watch pornography. Sexual activities in adolescent girls have risks like pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases etc.

Examined exposure to Internet pornography before the age of 18, as reported by college students (n = 563), via an online survey. Ninety-three percent of boys and 62% of girls were exposed to online pornography during adolescence. Exposure prior to age 13 was relatively uncommon. Boys were more likely to be exposed at an earlier age, to see more images, to see more extreme images (e.g., rape, child pornography), and to view pornography more often, while girls reported more involuntary exposure.  Exposure to pornography on the Internet can be described as a normative experience for adolescents. Adolescent girls also now have greater opportunity than ever before to present themselves publicly to a geographically disparate audience. Many young girls choose to display information about their sexuality and sexual lives, such as by indicating their sexual orientations on their SNS profiles, posting stories and poems about sexual desire and experience on blogs, sharing naked or semi-naked pictures and videos of themselves on SNS profiles and via mobile phones (“sexting”), and discussing sexual
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Want Free Therapy For Addiction? Try Self-Compassion

What is self-compassion?

Multiple therapies can work together to overcome addiction. One of those therapies, which is free and can be used at any time, is self-compassion. While self-compassion by itself will not end an addiction, it is a useful tool for living a happier, healthier life and for changing the brain patterns associated with sexual addiction. Here, essentially, is what it is: treating yourself as you would treat a dear friend or loved one.
What would you do if your friend lost his job? What about if a significant other left him? Or what if he learned he had a debilitating disease? Would you chew him out or tell him that he shouldn’t feel bad? If he made a mistake, lost his temper, forgot something important, or wrecked the car, would you call him names and tell him he’s the only one in the world that does such things? Would you tell him over and over what a horrible or stupid person he is? Most likely, no.

Stop for a moment and think about what you would do.

Would you recognize how your friend might be feeling and feel some of his hurt yourself? Would you try to cheer him up? Would you remind him of the times he’s done things right or express confidence in his ability to get through the situation? Would you want him to be happy? This is compassion. When you feel and do these things for yourself, it is self-compassion.

How can I apply self-compassion in my life?

The age-old adage, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all” applies not only to how we speak of others, but also how we speak and think about ourselves. Just as we have healthier relationships with others as we extend compassion, mercy and grace, overlooking their faults and focusing on their strengths, so too can our relationships with ourselves improve as we forgive ourselves and highlight our own strengths and accomplishments.

Thus, one way to apply self-compassion in our own lives is to be aware of and intentionally modify how we talk and think about ourselves. Choose to think positively. Choose to speak positively.

This is not about being blind to what you are going through or pretending you aren’t feeling your emotions. Rather it is about choosing where to put your focus. For example, if you don’t want to get out of bed and you feel as though you no longer want to exist, but you get out of bed anyway, you could (A) berate yourself for how you feel, or (B) congratulate yourself for having the strength to get up when you don’t want to. (Or, if you didn’t get out of bed, you could (A) berate yourself for how you feel, or (B) congratulate yourself for at least recognizing that it is healthy and beneficial to get up.)

Besides verbally and mentally being self-compassionate, you may want to try journaling or writing yourself a letter. First, write down your negative feelings or thoughts. Then pretend that those are the feelings or thoughts of a best friend or loved one. When you’ve done this, write down your encouragement and support. Here are two examples:

I became angry at my son today and yelled at him. I know you didn’t want to yell at him. You’ve been working on that. And it’s been a week since you last yelled. That’s awesome. A lot of people have trouble controlling their temper. That’s not an excuse, but hopefully you realize that you’re not the only person trying to be better.

I’m not where I should be in life. My friends earn more money than I do and my debt’s getting bigger and bigger. It’s tough to be in debt. It is. And some of your classmates do earn more than you. But you earn more than some people. It really doesn’t matter how much you earn compared to other people. You know you need to learn to live within your means. Perhaps you can take a community education class on budgeting or personal finance.

In summary, whether you do it in your mind, speak it out loud, or write it down, pretend that you are talking or writing to your best friend and offer yourself compassion. Objectively empathize with how you are feeling, remind yourself that others go through hard times too, and help yourself see the positive aspects of the situation. Look for your own strengths and successes. Focus on offering yourself support.

If you want help overcoming your pornography addiction or sexual addiction, call Paradise Creek: (855) 442-1912.