Are You Using These Free Therapies For Sex Addiction Treatment?

Free Therapies: Mindfulness and Self-Compassion

Sex addiction is a complex issue.  Effective treatment can require a variety of techniques and therapies.  Practicing self-compassion and mindfulness are two therapies that can help you in your recovery.  They are free, and you can start practicing them right away.

Focus on Breathing:  

In mindful breathing, you simply become aware of your breathing.  You don’t try to slow it down or speed it up.  You don’t try to breathe deeper or more shallowly.  You simply focus on breathing.

Kelly McGonigal, PhD suggests three ways to practice mindful breathing.  First, is to repetitively think “inhale” or “exhale” as you breathe in and out.  Second, is be aware of the sensations breathing creates, such as the movement of your belly or the feel of the air in your nostrils.  Third is to count each exhalation until you reach the number ten, then start over.  With all three suggestions, when your thoughts drift to something other than your breath, that’s okay, just refocus on your breathing1.

Savor:  

Rather than dreaming about the past or longing (or worrying) about the future, savor the present moment.  Whether you are eating a meal, spending time with a friend, walking, working, exercising, playing, talking or typing, become aware of what you are doing and delight in it.  Notice the sensations you are experiencing.  How does your food taste?  What do your fingers feel as they move around the keyboard clicking keys?  What is it like being with your friend?  What emotions are you feeling?  

Savor the sunset right now--the vivid pink and orange and purple colors changing shade and brightness as the clouds move and the sun sinks deeper behind the mountains.  Savor being with someone you love.  Savor the food you are eating.  Savor the feel of the breeze, or the heat or the cold.  Savor the feel of your feet hitting hard ground as you walk, or the supporting cushion of your shoes.  

Meditate:  

You can do guided or self-guided meditation, and the meditation can take different forms.  Focusing on different sensations:  the earth, your feet, what you hear, your skin.  It can include imagination, such as imagining a healing energy flowing through you.  You can use music or not.  Kelly McGonigal, even shares the idea of walking while you meditate.2

Pause and Observe:  

Simply stop and notice.  What are your surroundings?  How are you standing or sitting?  What do you smell or hear?  How are you reacting to your thoughts and feelings?  Do not pass judgment, just observe and become aware.  This “Pause and Observe” exercise can help ground you in the present so that you are not worrying about the future nor feeling shame for the past.

Become Your Best Friend:

If your best friend made some mistakes, wouldn’t you give him the benefit of the doubt, encourage him, support him, and focus on his good qualities?  Treat yourself the same way. Find the good in your situation and in yourself.  Focus on the positive.  This is not to say that you should ignore what needs to be changed, but rather that you love yourself and accept yourself as you are, even as you strive to change.

To learn more about overcoming sex addiction using mindfulness and compassion, please contact Paradise Creek Recovery Center at (855) 442-1912.

Sources:

  1. http://kellymcgonigal.com/2012/09/12/mindfulness-of-breathing/
  2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-science-willpower/201009/walking-meditation-the-perfect-ten-minute-willpower-boost

Sexual Addiction Can Happen To Women Too

(Post share from the IRATAD Blog)

Often sexual addiction is automatically associated with being a man’s problem however despite popular belief women do struggle with sexual addiction. Struggling with sexual addiction is very shaming for a person and can leave them feeling disconnected and alone. Because so few women come forward about their sexual addiction and assume it is a man’s disease the shame can be even more intense.  The diagnosis criterion for sexual addiction is the same for women as it is for men.

There are several myths surrounding women and sexual addiction that perpetuate the minimization of this problem for women and increase shame.

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Addiction, Neuroplasticity and Mindfulness

(Post share from the IRATAD Blog)

I recently read a book by Miriam Boleyn-Fitzgerald (2010), Pictures of the Mind: what the new neuroscience tells us about who we are.  This book explains how new technology is contributing to groundbreaking discoveries related to how the brain works and its influence on our behavior.  . . .

I find it hopeful to know that we have the ability to change and heal within us because of neuroplasticity.  Not only can we retrain our brains to heal and recover from addictions, but the author states researchers have identified neural pathways for spiritually significant mind states like empathy, compassion, and forgiveness . . .

Empathy, compassion, and forgiveness toward the self and other people are important skills to cultivate during the journey of recovery from addiction.  Often recovery may feel like being on an emotional rollercoaster, making it more difficult to develop prosocial skills.  It is helpful to remember that we are not our emotions.  Emotions are fleeting lasting only a matter of seconds; it is our moods that are more pervasive.  Being aware of the fleeting nature of emotions will make it easier to let them go and not identify with them.

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Resolutions and Addiction

(Post share from the IRATAD Blog)

Addiction is about not being able to maintain boundaries, follow though on commitments and being able to self-soothe in a healthy way.  When we are unable to say no and follow through on the no......(such as over-commiting ourselves to things), when we are unwilling to sacrifice an extra hour of sleep on a cold morning to go to the gym, or when we say "just one more time" or I will start this next week, we are engaging in a dangerous addictive cycle.  We become stuck in the same behaviors to which  Sisyphus was condemned by the ancient Greek Gods.  His punishment for crimes against the Gods, was to eternally roll a large boulder up a hill and upon reaching the summit of the hill with great exertion, the boulder would roll to the bottom of the hill.  This was considered by all to be not only backbreaking work, but the added frustration of the fruitlessness of the effort in the end.

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Addiction Treatment and Neuroplasticity

(Post share from the IRATAD Blog)

Neuroplasticity is the alteration of neural pathways due to changes in behavior, environment and thinking processes.  New research is making discoveries about brain functions that were previously believed to be impossible in relation to neuroplasticity. It was not so long ago that the scientific community thought neuroplasticity within an adult brain was impossible.

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What Is Sexual Addiction?

Sexual addiction or dependency is a compulsive disorder that causes the inability to control ones sexual behavior that affects millions of people world-wide. A person with sexual addiction has excessive thoughts or behaviors relating to or obtaining a desired sexual effect. Those that suffer from this obsessive dependency suffer at work, with personal relationships, and other daily activities.

Some of the criterion associated with sexual addiction includes compulsive behavior resulting in adverse consequences. At first, these activities can be pleasurable. But the continued act becomes steadily compulsive until one becomes addicted. Some of these compulsive behaviors include pornography, multiple anonymous partners, repeated affairs, cyber-sex, prostitution, exhibitionism, and voyeurism to name a few.

The inability to control such sexual behaviors leads to depression, anxiety, and other emotional actions. Emotional coping is one way addicts use their addiction to experience a different way of stimulating the brain. Over time, the person becomes addicted pornography or other sexual stimulation to obtain feelings of gratification. But with that, other related issues like abandonment, fear, shame, or guilt are also linked to sexual addiction. Addicts can’t voluntarily disengage from sexual behavior, ending in consequences that disrupt the normal function of a person.

It’s important to recognize the complications that sexual addiction can impart on a person despite the negative consequences. Just like other addictions, these types of sexual behaviors seem to continue despite the effort to stop. Acting out sexually is usually a way to medicate or manage stress, pain, or even substitute for true intimacy. Some signs of sexual addiction include:

 

These types of compulsive behaviors derive from mismanaged emotions which can later end in sexual compulsivity. Most often people don’t realize that there is treatment to manage their addiction, continuing to struggle no matter what the cost.

What Do I Do If Someone I Care About Has An Addiction To Pornography?

Knowing how to deal with someone that has an addiction to pornography can be a very difficult road for many. And most often those affected by this type of addiction happens between a husband and a wife. This behavior can leave one with a low self-esteem, feeling betrayed, alone, and end up with a shattered relationship. Even if the addiction is between friends, relationships will suffer, so the issue shouldn’t be ignored.

Once you have discovered that someone close to you has an addiction problem, talk with them and share your concern. This is probably one of the hardest steps to take emotionally, but can be the most rewarding long term.

Some of you may not know that pornography is a neuron changer. The reason for this is due to the way it floods the brain with dopamine‒ giving the body a rush that eventually rewires the brains reward center. Neuroplasticity is a word meaning brain and change. It works like this:

A neuron is a cell in the brain that is activated by smell, sight, sound, taste, or touch, etc. Every time something good happens, chemicals are released in the brain, telling you how wonderful you feel. Your brain builds pathways like this for everything including emotions, and it does the same for those that engage in pornography. The problem with pornography is that the brain gets overwhelmed by the constant overload of chemicals it’s experiencing, and starts to fight back… eventually taking away some of its dopamine receptors. This begins a numbing effect, causing a result in the brain to find more arousal from pornographic materials, and ultimately becoming addicted, and always looking for something bigger and better to satisfy the addiction. Now, the addict is constantly searching for that dopamine high that they first experienced, and the more they look at porn, the harder it is to find satisfaction, and more difficult to break free from the unhealthy behavior.

Addictions of any kind use these same neurons. Within the last decade, research has proven that addictions cause the brains frontal lobes to start shrinking. This is the part of the brain that controls our logical thinking and basic problem solving. It wasn’t just drugs and alcohol causing this type of trauma to the brain. It is all types of addictions and compulsive behaviors that cause the same damage.

Now that the brain is relying on this chemical response, it suddenly has a new sense of craving that cannot be satiated. Pornography short-circuits the brain since it remembers where the sexual high came from, turning the viewer into an addict.

With this information, there is hope for those you love. Often times you may wonder how you can you assist those you care for who are suffering from an addiction to pornography. This can be achieved with a 30 step task program that was designed by Dr. Patrick Carnes, who has pioneered treatment for sexual addiction. Without identifying the core issues that contribute to the addiction, the ability to overcome and maintain sobriety with an addiction to pornography would be nonexistent.

Losing Weight, Rock Bottom, Addictions, and Resolutions

(Post share from the IRATAD Blog)

To better care four ourselves we need to pay attention to our physical, mental, social, and spiritual health and strive for a healthy balance amongst each of these dimensions.  Caring for our physical health involves more than just exercising.  We need to get adequate amounts of sleep, eat a healthy diet, and maintain good hygiene.  Caring for our mental health includes reducing stress, finding healthy and positive experiences in our daily life, being mindful of the present situation, and doing things that help us stay mentally sharp.  To care for our social needs we must engage in healthy activities with people who build us up and are positive influences on us; social isolation can lead to unhealthy thoughts and behaviors.  Finally, caring for our spiritual health involves being able to see beyond ourselves and see the big picture.  Spirituality involves being hopeful, recognizing our values, and doing things for the benefit of others.  People may connect with spirituality by reading religious or inspirational texts, meditation or prayer, or by being in nature.

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Sexual Addiction and Women

Is there really a difference between a man and a woman who suffers from sexual addiction? Interestingly enough, the answer is yes. Actually, there is a whole collection of misunderstandings and myths that surround women and having an addiction to sex. Since there has not been one set standard to measure addiction between men and women, sexual addiction in women has not been truly acknowledged in society until the past two decades or so. But sexual addiction is a real issue for women for sure, and not just a male phenomenon any more.

When it comes to sexual addiction, it’s really about the mechanics of emotions rather than what people identify it as being sexually intimate. Addictions of any kind prominently stem from an immediate need to satisfy emotional imbalances, and searching for that type of satisfaction with sexual compulsions often leads to an addiction that continues to meet the woman’s emotional disorder.

Women share the same symptoms as men when it comes to becoming addicted to sexual behaviors, usually starting with pornography and infidelity until it grows to the point there is no way to satiate their needs to feel complete. There are several things that can be instantly identified as to why a woman turns to an addiction to sex:

Where this is only a few of the issues regarding women and sexual addiction, it is safe to say that the components of any addiction have negative consequences. Many times women do not identify themselves as having an addiction to sex or having unhealthy sexual behaviors as they believe it is merely an addiction to love, being co-dependent, or a relationship addiction. Without the knowledge to identify this addiction properly, this leads to events that quickly spiral out of control.

Without a proper understanding of sexual addictions, overcoming them is an unreachable goal. Recovering from a sexual addiction takes knowledge, understanding, and counseling. Getting the proper help is vital for recovery.

 

 

Am I Addicted?

(Post share from the IRATAD Blog)

At some point a person will come up against the question of “Am I out of control or could I control my behavior if I really desired to?” Many have come across this question and paused because there is no clear answer. It may be that they have been able to compartmentalize problem behaviors, telling themselves specific behavior does not affect the rest of their life or those around them- therefore they are in control. It may be that one is deeply shamed by what they have done and even admitting their behavior is unthinkable. Countless reasons exist for why it is be hard to define if a person is addicted or convince themselves they behave in ways of their own choosing.

 Read More . . .