Do you wish you could see the person you fell in love with? Like any relationship, the longer you're together, the more familiar you become with one another's flaws. Over time, you may feel desperate to remember how you once felt. Perhaps, the stress and busyness of life have you running in opposite directions. As a result, emotional and physical intimacy within your relationship may no longer exist. If your relationship is longing for connection, looking for answers in the past may not help you find happiness in your future, or could it?
When addiction steps into the relationship, it demands to be the priority. For some, the damage it does is irreversible. Instead of living happily ever after, the hopes and dreams of the relationship get lost in simply surviving. Overcoming a deficit within a relationship is challenging; that's why so many opt to walk away instead.
So, how do you work towards healing your relationship with so many obstacles in the way?
It may be no surprise to hear that it's normal for a romantic relationship to be met with thoughts of, "Should I stay or should I go?" However, knowing that isn't likely to help you feel much better. The good news is that mulling over the idea of divorce or break-up doesn't mean the relationship is doomed. Instead, there are some hard questions you'll both need to ask yourself.
First, it's time to look back in time. Why? Right now, the issues you're dealing with may be too big to see anything but the person you resent or that hurt you. Instead, take some time to reflect on the moment early in your relationship when you knew your partner was going to be your person forever.
Can you remember when you first realized you were in love with your partner? Where were you when you first kissed? Reflecting on positive memories can be painful. On the contrary, it can also help motivate and remind you why you're trying so hard to work things out.
Any relationship that involves healing from a betrayal will face unique challenges. As a result, working with a licensed therapist will be vital to healing and restoring trust and hope.
So, where do you begin? That depends on your situation, but most start with having a hard discussion regarding the questions above. After all, if only one of you wants to try to make things work, then looking into individual therapy and moving forward alone may be the next step.
The next step might include finding a treatment program. Likewise, you'll need to set boundaries and implement accountability and consequences.
With a plan in place, the healing takes time and effort. So, what can you do to begin taking little steps toward restoring a connection?
Remembering that you were madly in love at one point can spark memories that help motivate you to find a path forward.
The furthest thing from your mind may be physical intimacy, and that's ok. Set a boundary and outline what will be acceptable such as holding hands or a quick kiss or hug. Instead, it's a good idea to try and find common ground and reconnect through play or light-hearted activities. This could be as simple as going for a walk together or playing a card game. Maybe it involves going on an adventure and trying something new. Regardless, taking sex out of the relationship may help remove pressure or fear of intimacy. Likewise, it may open the door to rekindle authentic feelings of trust and connection.
Another basic step to growing together is showing gratitude. Finding a way to express a daily "Thank you" can do wonders for your mindset and your relationship.
Finally, incorporate self-care into your day. Taking care of your needs is essential to your ability to heal. For example, if you're well-rested and making good food choices, you're more likely to feel more patient and clear-minded. Healing is a journey and a timely one.
Paradise Creek Recovery Center offers inpatient treatment to help individuals overcome their addictions. We're ready to help your relationship heal and recover. Call us today.